The Onion News Network

I’m not going to lie– the paper version of “America’s Finest News Source,” The Onion, got me (and many of my friends) through college. The university made the mistake of stocking the lobbies of all the lecture halls with the rag, and at the end of late afternoon classes, the entire area of the floor would be covered with smart and satirical Onion headlines. I sure didn’t mind; probably covered up some gnarly half-eaten burritos that would have gotten stuck in the sole of my Vans. We still, to this day, recite side-cramping Onion stories we read when we were in college. Today The Onion is taking a jump forward, following the likes of John Stewart and Steven Colbert, with The Onion News Network. This morning, I learned through its maiden newscast that President Bush is calling up Civil War Re-enactors for Iraq duty. That’s a scoop not even Fox News had picked up on yet! We’re talking timely and relevant news here. Here’s what the “real news” has to say about Onion’s foray into live (mmm err taped) broadcast news. Please join me in raising a glass for the new Onion News Network!