Goulet Snooze Bars

“Hickery dickery dock, eat my bar and… pass out” says Robert Goulet about his Snooze Bars, which are meant to be consumed at 3 p.m.– so you can go to sleep and get nothing accomplished throughout the remainder of your work day. Responding to challenges that his bars are unhealthy, Goulet calmly responds “Health is a nonissue. As a regular Snooze Bar eater, you will spend close to 90% of your life asleep, so who cares what kind of shape you’re in for the other 10%?” The truth: Snooze bars are only a figment of Emerald Nuts’ imagination, and this is all a back-door marketing campaign. I have to give them a high-five for their humorous approach to selling their product– after all, selling nuts can’t be the easiest of endeavors. Although no one could ever do Robert Goulet as well as Will Ferrell did on SNL, the Snooze Bar website ought to be good for a few laughs. Also, don’t forget to download Goulet’s 3 p.m. lullabies– listen to them while eating the bar to fall asleep.